She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
