drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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