Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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