24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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