im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
