All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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