Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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