just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
