He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
