My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
