That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
