break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
