he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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