no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
