This girl is more easily done than said...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
