dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
