And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
