Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize