Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
