How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I enjoy the company of your penis
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