he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
