My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
