is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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