we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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