AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
