So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
