Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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