my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
