How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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