I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
