so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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