Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
