also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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