The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
