So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
