You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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