I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My penis needs a shock collar
I just had sex on a roof
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
