You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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