When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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