Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
