Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he was CRYING into my vagina
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
