I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
