i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
