i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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