Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
