summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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