I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
