maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
