great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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