The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
