I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
