Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
