Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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