The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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