I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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