I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
