do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
