She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
