My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
only you would photoshop your dick
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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