I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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