I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Everything about him screamed your future.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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