I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
