Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Everything about him screamed your future.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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